I like to read through my prayer journal from time to time to be encouraged by the prayer requests that have been answered and just to be reminded of what God has brought me through. Tonight I decided to do that and I got emotional really fast. This is some of what I had written in May...
God, I want You to be my best friend. I want to be able to know what You're thinking. I want to be able to see what You would do in a certain situation. I want to be able to laugh when I see something because it reminds me of You. I want to be able to smile for no reason because I am thinking about You. I want to smile because You are my everything. I want more of You and less of me... I pray that I would rely on You and no one else. Because at the end of the day You are the only one that will never disappoint me. At the end of the day You are the only one that knows all of my needs. At the end of the day You love me no matter what I've done. I'm humbled by the fact that I deserve nothing, but You've given me everything.
This broke my heart because, yes, I wanted these things, and i still want these things... but am I living a life that is in complete pursuit of turning these wants into reality?
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